Relationship Contract Part 2
Due December 1, 2020 11:00 AMCloses December 4, 2020 8:00 AM
This assignment is due before class on 12/01, but I will accept late submission until our exam goes live on 12/04 at 8AM!
In this assignment, you will be revisiting your relationship contract that was completed earlier in the semester. You will be expected to connect each section of the contract back to course material or other sources outside of our course (just make sure to use APA for citations!). You will also address any components of a relationship contract that should be included if one or both members are in recovery from an addiction (if you are currently in a relationship and this does not apply, you still need to include this).
You should be using your original submission as a guide for writing this assignment. For some of you, you may be revamping quite a few things, while for others some of the information will stay the same (especially if you were answering about an existing relationship). If most of the information remains the same, you will need to provide justification as to why, both personally and supported by course material or outside resources.
Please review the rubric for this assignment. You will notice that attending to the sections below is only 30% of your grade on this assignment, while the rest comes from addressing changes and providing justifications (25%), connecting to course or outside material (30%), and including a discussion of considering addiction recovery in a relationship contract (10%). The last 5% comes from the clarity and organization of your paper. The rubric provides a more detailed breakdown for the expectations.
There is a total of five sections for this paper, just as it was with the original submission. Each section is listed below with some information as a reminder.
Individual Characteristics- What characteristics do you consider to be important for your partner to have (sense of humor, cute smile, etc)? List these and then explain as needed. You should have at least 10 characteristics in your contract. Discuss the level of importance (you can either list them in order of importance, use a scale, or just verbally state their level of importance to you). Which characteristics would be the most important over the others?
Who/What/When/Where/Why/How: This will be answered differently depending on if you are in a serious relationship or not.
In a serious relationship: You will answer these questions based on your current relationship. Who, when and where did you get in this relationship? How and what made this relationship end up being serious, etc?
Not in serious relationship: Briefly describe your answers for each of these. When will you get in a relationship, where would this take place, what would have to happen, etc? Example: I will only get into a serious relationship post college with another college graduate they must be close to family of origin, etc. Be as specific as possible.
Relationship Expectations: Address how you expect to handle (or handled) each of the following. Make sure to describe how willing you are to negotiate with your partner on these issues (may be helpful to talk about this in terms of a scale or percentages). If you are in a relationship, some of these may have been things you already had to negotiate (please discuss), some may be situations you have not talked about yet (discuss how you expect to handle this). If you are not in a relationship, you may never have thought of this. This is a good place to think about your priorities and how you expect to negotiate this with your partner. What are you willing to compromise or sacrifice and what is not something you are willing to negotiate, etc?
Legality/commitment level of the relationship?
Where will we live? (How will this be decided)?
Kids (How many, if there are complications, etc.)
Chores (division of labor, etc.)
What role will each partner play in the family?
Employment (who will work, how will this be decided, etc).
Finances (Who will be responsible for the money, how will these decisions be made, combined accounts/separate accounts, spending/saving/investing, how to handle debt, what to do with debt acquired before the relationship, etc).
Sex (who will initiate, frequency, willing to try, not willing to try, etc).
Time with family/in-laws (when will you visit, how long will you stay, when can they visit, etc).
Holidays (traditions, how will you celebrate these things, how will you split time with your family).
Activities/free time (what will you do, how will you decide on how much money to spend on this, etc).
Spiritual/ religious beliefs (what do you believe? Your partner? What are the expectations around practicing these beliefs, etc).
Future goals: What will I/We be doing 5 years from now? 10 years from now?
How will we each maintain our individuality, while strengthening our bond as a couple?
How will we deal with previous partners, spouses, children from other relationships, etc?
Bottom Line: What is your relationship bottom line? What are you willing to do and not willing to do? Example: I will move with my partner anywhere in the state but not out of the state. Be specific as possible. You should have several bottom lines when you think of multiple scenarios, like relationship boundaries (open/closed relationship), religion, violence, addiction, drugs/alcohol etc.
When/how would you know to leave the/a relationship?: What would be your cues that the relationship is not working? What factors determine the priority for you in deciding to stay or leave? For example: I would leave for safety concerns (hitting. Threats, etc), but not because of a change in interests/employment. Be as specific as possible. Really think about the scenarios that would precipitate you leaving or not (infidelity, addiction, abuse, etc).
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