W10 Assignment: Relevance – Reflective Listening


Marriage is not the only relationship that needs to be nurtured. All relationships are improved through good communication. Watch this video about how men’s and women’s brains are different. While Mr. Gungor’s comments do not certainly represent all men and women, the video is informative by dealing with large generalities.

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Communication in relationships is important. There are some things to consider when you engage in communication with others:

Listening is more important than talking.
Hearing and listening are different. Hearing is a sensory experience. Listening is an activity that requires a hearing, processing, and engaging with the other person.
Reflective listening can help you clarify what is being said to reduce the chances of misunderstanding.
Part 1

Complete this reflective listening exercise with someone you care about and have a close relationship with (friend, family member, spouse, significant other, etc.). Find a quiet place where you will not be interrupted for about one hour. Arrange the space so that you and the individual are facing each other and can see each other’s face, hands and body position and turn off all electronic distractions.

Take turns reading the questions/statements and responding. Talk to the person, not about them. Avoid the word you when discussing negative matters; use I and describe how you feel. While one individual is talking, the other should listen attentively. Then they should paraphrase back what they heard. Paraphrase what you understood was being said. Clarify as needed.

“Your greatest attribute is…” (Then explain why.)
“If I could be more like you in one way, it would be…”
Describe one characteristic or behavior about the other person that troubles you.
“One thing I really enjoy doing with you and wish we could do more together with more is…”
“If I could influence the world, I would…”
“My greatest hopes and dreams are to…” (Why?)
“My greatest fears are…”
“How can I be a better communicator with you?”
“If you could see yourself the way I see you, you would realize…”
“You make me feel _______ when you…” (a positive feeling)
Part 2

Write a 1-page reflection paper about what you learned about communication. Do not provide the details about the answers to the questions. Then submit your paper.

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